How to Come Back from a Setback
How to come back from a setback
When I work with women on their personal growth, and of course in my own personal growth journey, you will inevitably experience the low in your gradual climb. That low that slaps you in the face and reminds you that personal growth isn’t linear.
And that low compared to your recent high feels low.
It’s in this spot that so many of us become fully convinced that we are no longer growing, we’ve gone back to old ways and we will never experience a high again.
This is not true.
BUT. If this is our belief? If this is what we think? It will become true. It’s self-sabotage. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So, then, how do we avoid staying low? This is how.
Perspective
Setbacks aren’t setbacks, they're growth opportunities. Experiencing a challenge isn’t there to take you down, it’s there to allow you to grow. What if you looked at it as “yes! Another opportunity to learn and grow bigger!” We grow with challenge. We get stronger by adding on more weight. We get faster by trying to beat our PR. We become a better writer by continuing to write even when we get blocked. Meet the perceived setback with the lens of growth.
Identify Limits
What limiting beliefs are keeping you stuck? We all have these limiting beliefs.
“This is what always happens, I try and I fail.
“I can never finish anything I start.”
“I’ll never be as good as I want to be.”
“Every time I get sick, this happens and I can’t get back on track.”
Identify these thoughts. These are the thoughts that are allowing you to keep yourself in a setback mentality. And then, once you identify them, choose an expanding belief.
“I’m not failing because I’m trying.”
“I don’t always finish things, but I will this time.”
“I am good enough as I am, as I was before, and as I will be.”
“I took a great break to recover from being sick and now I’ll get back on track because it’s important to me.”
Same situation, different thoughts. Which ones feel motivating and encouraging?
You get to CHOOSE your thoughts. Choose wisely.
Journal
We avoid the growth opportunity because growth is uncomfortable so we stay stuck. Find a safe space like journaling to work through what's coming up for you in your perceived setback. Journaling is often something that many of us avoid through thoughts like “I don’t know what to write.” “It doesn’t work for me.” But let this be your venting space. Release what’s holding you back.
Patterns
Know your patterns. Every setback is often proceeded by a set of predictable behavioral patterns. Find yours so you can catch it early. Sit with your journal and observe, think about past setbacks and what lead to them. For instance, if you fall out of routine after being sick, make a game plan of how you can get back into the swing of things, don’t follow the same sequence of events you always do and you’ll break the pattern.
Accountability
Get your trusty accountability partner ready to step in to help you step out. Your spouse, your best friend, you coach or mentor, your therapist… tell them you need support to grow through this next challenge.
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The long and short of it, I don’t believe in setbacks at all. And because of that, it’s a lot easier to move forward. You can do; it’s choosing a different perspective and the rest will follow.