Supporting our Kids’ Emotional Needs
Supporting our Kids’ Emotional Needs
Supporting Our Kids’ Emotional Needs
2020 has kicked all of our butts, let's face it.
As adults, we're trying hard enough to figure out how the heck to move through it and often, we can forget how much it might be impacting our kids.
Emotions get trapped in our bodies. They're energy.
Kids aren't as jaded or able to "shove it down and just keep going." like adults can, so they are likely displaying "behaviors" to release those emotions.
High physical energy, fighting, sleep trouble, poop trouble, random crying, talking back, meltdowns, nervous habits (like picking nails), being spaced out or apathetic and so much more.
Here are a few different ways we can help support our kids’ emotions now and any time.
Help Yourself
This is number one. I know, we are the givers and the nurturers and only know how to put ourselves last, but this is the number one thing we can do to serve our children. Look through my blog posts, listen to my podcast, or buy my book to dig into the “How can I?” of this number one tip.
Create Accountability
Accountability = Reliability. When our kids are accountable for something, they know they can rely on themselves. With this, the fate of their day and their feelings isn’t solely determined by the chaos of 2020. Instead, they will feel more in control. Allow them to help with chores, prep dinner, do the things needed to get out of the door in time, choosing a movie, respond to their feelings themselves, share their homework, feed the dog, etc. Wherever you can fit it in, give them control and a choice.
Find Routine
Everything is changing all the time. Keep as much routine as you possibly can. Yes, it’s going to change, but keep the elements the same, and adjust as needed. Routine creates safety and predictability and we all need that more than ever right now. Whether it’s the morning, school prep, dinner routine, weekends, bedtime routine or all of it, keep something predictable.
Allow Time for Processing
It’s imperative for our mental health (always and for all of us) to process emotions fully. This process isn’t always comfortable and can sometimes be ugly, but we need to allow for there to be emotional breakdowns, time to talk and space to ask questions. Instead of “Stop screaming at me!” try, “I see how upset you are, try screaming in your pillow.” Maybe even do it with them. We need to process, too! Offer appropriate ways for them to feel instead of telling them not to. And do daily check ins. Ask how they’re doing. Don’t be afraid to talk about the elephant in the room. Show them it’s safe to talk about.
Communicate the Changes
Often, we move into autopilot and forget to include our kids. They are very smart and intuitive humans. They can FEEL what is going on, but in their cognitive development, can’t fully understand which is why it’s crucial for us to support them with this communication. Allow them to be part of the conversations so they aren’t blindsided. Receiving abrupt information can cause fight or flight responses.
Let go of Perfect
Did you yell at your kid to stop screaming, lost your routine and can’t, for the life of you, figure out how to take care of yourself first?
You are not alone. This is not about being perfect.
And you know what? You’re a REALLY, REALLY good parent, no matter what.
We will get through this. We need to allow for space and grace.
… and a few skinned knees.
We are all very resilient people, we will be okay. And right now?
It's okay to not be okay.
Did 2020 knock you down? But you’re ready to get back up and make the changes you know you deserve and want in your life? Be sure to check out the Layered Growth Academy for details and enrollment.