Week 2 | This Week's Love Notes

Week 2 | This Week’s Love Notes

This week was full of trial and illness. Seriously, I’ve never become so frustrated and defeated by germs ever in my life. Well, that’s actually a lie. I suffered PTSD after my daughter was sick at 10 months old and this is the first year I’m responding to illness without PTSD… because I worked my ass off to rewire my brain to know that it’s not being faced with death when one of my kids gets a fever or a belly ache.

We have had a horrendous rotation of fevers and headaches and belly aches and higher fevers and stuffy noses and coughs; the kind of coughs that need nebulizers, and fevers that make you questions if you need to make an ER visit. It has NOT been fun.

BUT that’s kind of why this week was really awesome. I’ve made myself the priority in all of this. I went to bed early every night with a cup of tea and a book. I’ve had a very close relationship with my heating pad and weighted blanket. I’ve taken my vitamins every day without fail, supplements and have fed my body nothing but nutritious food. And the biggest accomplishment? Getting to bed at a decent hour. Because of this, aside from one day of sleeping in by accident due to a rough night, I was able to get up every morning to do my morning routine and fill my cup. It’s been SO fulfilling and feels so dang good.

Getting to this place has taken an insane amount of dedication and consistency. Removing anxiety and overwhelm from your life doesn’t happen the moment you decide you’re ready to remove it. That pivotal choice is the very beginning of your journey. DO NOT GIVE UP.

Here is my love and gratitude in the middle of a week that could have easily been filled with victimization and resentment.

6/366. Me. Simply me. Embracing all of who I am. Choosing to see the strengths and the beauty over the weaknesses and the perceived flaws.

7/366 My boy. The boy who has a “IV” at the end of his name. You carry a powerful name and you are a powerful soul. As tall as you are, in this moment, I see how small you still are. No matter how big you grow or how far you go, my baby you will always be.

8/366. At 6 and a half, I fully realize that we are moments away from transitioning to the baby toys into the bigger toys. She’ll be the girl who is always independent, having time in her room, journaling, coloring, drawing and reading. Much like how I was. And so, I will embrace every minute she plays with Peppa Pig, her baby dolls and Barbies. These moments are passing by far too quickly and I’m forever grateful to have the awareness to hold onto them in the present moment.

9/366. The morning light in his big bed. Again, it reminds me how small he still is.

10/366. The next fever hits. And while the tea & honey wasn’t a big hit, I love this moment. The contrast of his desire to be a big kid drinking his tea “that looks like coffee” out of his PPL mug against the snuggle of his bunnies and bear, the tokens of his childhood.

11.366. When we flew back from Mexico a couple months ago, I stared out of the plane window (thanks to Dramamine) and looked at all of the big cities we flew over along the entire east coast. It’s hard to wrap my head around how small a huge city can look thousands of feed in the air. And here, just across the river, Manhattan can look so small, to fit into one single frame of a camera.

Sometimes our problems seem so big and all encompassing. Like standing in the middle of Times’ Square. A feeling of never being able to get out of it or the near thought of trying to get out is so overwhelming. And then this simple shift in perspective, seeing it from the outside, can show how small it really is in comparison to everything else. Perspective is everything. Don’t get lost in the ones that don’t help you.

12/366. This is my kid. His mouth never stops and neither does his body. Even with 102 fevers.